Balance Requires Motion 6/9
Jun. 6th, 2010 11:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nell65Title: Balance Requires Motion
Fandom: La Femme Nikita
Pairing: Michael Samuelle/Nikita Wirth
Characters: Michael Samuelle, Adam Samuelle, Nikita Wirth, OCs
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Post Series Fic
Length: 40,300 words
Chapter: 6/9
Summary: "When Michael first saw Nikita standing on his front porch, his whole world splintered and then, between one step and the next, remade itself."
Part 1, Living the Normal Life, can be found here.
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 1
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 2
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 3
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 4
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 5
*****
Adam’s sixteenth birthday came and went without much fanfare. Michael knew Adam was disappointed that he had lost interest in his own birthday; sixteen was such an important watershed in Minnesota and he had been eagerly anticipating the day. But, when they asked him about it, Adam had sighed deeply and remarked that after all their revelations about the past, a mere birthday party didn’t seem so important somehow. When Nikita tried to cheer him up, get him to consider some sort of celebration anyway, Adam glared at her in exasperation and exclaimed, “Look, I don’t hate you anymore, okay! But I don’t want a party. Let it go.”
A few days later, after Nikita had commented acidly about Adam’s continuing mood of gloomy self-pity, Adam had gotten a speculative gleam in his eye and suggested that a car of his own to go with his new driver’s license might perk him up considerably. Fortunately, Adam had clearly not expected this suggestion to be acted on nor did he seem unduly let down when it was ignored.
Adam also wanted to skip deer hunting season for the first time since he had been old enough to go. When pressed Adam stuck to his story that he did not care for venison, so didn’t see any reason to kill a deer this year. Michael and Nikita agreed privately that it had more to do with Adam’s obvious newfound discomfort around the guns, or, rather, seeing them with the guns, and should not be allowed to continue. So Michael drew Adam’s attention to the new deer donation program and suggested that three deer would be a big contribution to a local food shelf during what was looking to be a very hard winter for families in economic trouble. At which point Nikita had shot Michael a very dirty look indeed, but he had ignored it, and Adam had grudgingly agreed that maybe deer hunting would be okay after all. Seeing as how it would be for charity and everything.
Loading up the SUV for the drive north was uncomfortable for all of them, coming just a few weeks after their last, intense, road trip. Once they were underway, though, Nikita challenged Adam to a game of ‘name that band’ using songs on their mp3 players, and their state of fragile normalcy resumed in time to save them from inflicting their tensions on everyone else gathered at the Peterson family’s hunting camp. Two days later, after wrestling their three deer carcasses from the woods, to the trailer, to one of the approved processing centers, Adam and Nikita actually started laughing at each other’s jokes again.
Once training for the winter ski and snowboard season began in earnest, Adam’s flat and dismal mood lifted even more. He got a fresh buzz-cut, eliminating his Mohawk, saying it was too much trouble to maintain now that he would be wearing a ski helmet every day. He kept his earrings. So Michael felt he had the time and freedom to turn his attention to Nikita. She was obviously restless now that the work in the basement was finished and the immediate tension with Adam was beginning to abate. Problem was, Michael didn’t have any good ideas about how to help her, and whatever he was doing was obviously irritating her. Which was apparently why she had picked him up today, and taken him out to lunch.
Fixing him with a level gaze, she said, “Michael. Please stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Hovering. And looking concerned.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes. You are.”
He shrugged. “Okay. A little.”
Nikita smiled. “Thank you.”
“I haven’t done anything yet?”
“For acknowledging it.”
She reached out and offered her hand, which he took and she gripped his fingers firmly. She said, “I told myself that trying to imagine my life here would be a mistake, that I should wait and make sure you wanted me with you before I built too many castles in the air.” She shrugged, and hooked her toe around the back of his calf under the table. “I was wrong. I should have started trying to make some plans.”
Michael stroked her hand with his thumb. “You talked about taking some university courses?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I still might.”
“But?”
“I don’t think that’s really a long-term plan.”
He sighed. “No.”
“We should make some.”
“Long term plans?”
“Yes.”
“Adam?”
“Will be done with high school in less than three years. After that – we can do anything we want. We should think about what that might be.”
“I…..” He trailed off, because he had nothing to say.
“See.” She gave him a teasing smile. “You never thought beyond ‘wait and see if Nikita shows up’ either, did you?”
Michael started to protest, and then realized it would be foolish, because she was more or less right. He smiled self-consciously. “No.”
“Okay. So. Now we start. Together.”
Michael went back to work later that afternoon feeling lighter than he had in a long, long time.
*****
Nikita looked back and forth between the cell phone ringing on the dining room table and Adam, who was resolutely ignoring the vibrating phone in favor of his homework.
“You know,” she said, clearing her throat, “it would be much kinder to end the relationship yourself.”
Adam looked up at her, his face a model of confusion. “What? What are you talking about?”
Nikita gave him the same look she had perfected on Seymour Birkof, all those years ago.
Adam crumbled, just like Birkof used to do. He shrugged defensively, “I don’t know if I want to end it. I just, want to, ease up for a while, you know?”
“Not all that long ago, you seemed really happy about it. What changed?”
Adam returned her look with interest, conveying clearly without words the sentiment, ‘just how stupid are you, anyway?’
Nikita ducked her head in surrender, “Okay. But, my guess is you’re hurting her feelings by just ignoring her. If that’s not what you want, you should try something else.”
Adam scowled. “Well, it worked for Dad.”
“What worked for me?”
Adam looked up at Michael, who had just appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room. “Getting your girlfriend to dump you,” he said.
Michael looked back and forth between them in confusion, but settled on Nikita as the one who should answer his unspoken question.
“I was just saying to Adam, that I thought if he didn’t want to be seeing Tasha anymore, he should suck it up and break up with her, instead of just ignoring her phone calls.”
Michael looked back at Adam. “You and Tasha are having difficulties?”
Adam shoved all his books and papers into a pile and stood up. “I am so not talking with you guys about this.”
As he shouldered his way past Michael, Nikita said, “don’t forget your phone.”
Adam raised his voice so they would hear him as he pounded down the stairs. “Screw the damn phone!”
Nikita closed the laptop she had been reading and said, “what’s up?”
Michael folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe. “More pregnancy blogs?”
“Yeah.” Nikita was pleased that she sounded cool, until she caught sight of the teasing laughter in Michael’s eyes. She knew he didn’t care one way or the other about the blogs, he just thought it was funny that she was so easily embarrassed by her fascination with them. She blushed and changed the subject. “Anyway, you look like you were about to say something?”
“Yes. Miranda Andersen just called. Now everyone we invited for Thanksgiving has said yes.”
“What?! You told me you were sure most people would have other plans!”
Michael shrugged. “I was wrong.”
“That’s,” Nikita rapidly recounted the number in her head, “that’s sixteen people for dinner!”
“Yes.”
“Michael! I’ve never cooked for more than four people at a time in my entire life!”
“So – time to learn something new.”
“You swore! You swore to me that at most it would be one other family!” Nikita was trying hard not to hyperventilate. She reminded herself that she had run an elite, covert counter terrorism operation with global reach for nearly nine years by herself, against incredible odds and facing constant assault from within as well as without. A mere – gigantic – dinner party with a straightforward traditional menu should not be more than she could handle. She remembered that when she was running an elite, covert counter terrorism operation with global reach, she had had a really big staff.
She must have been telegraphing her alarm, because Michael stepped over to her and pulled her out of her chair and into his arms. Holding her firmly, and stroking a calming hand against her hair he said, “you’ll be fine. Adam and I are in it with you. You aren’t alone.”
She mumbled against his neck, “why did they all say yes?”
Michael laughed and steered her toward the sofa in the living room. Tugging her down with him, he said, “Because Adam and I have never asked anyone over for a holiday before. We’ve always been the lost ones everyone else takes pity on. Now that you’re here, everyone is dying of curiosity to see what we look like as a family.”
She flushed with pleasure when he called them a family, but what she said was, “You have a lot of nosy parker friends.”
“That was the idea.”
“I don’t even look pregnant, just really bloated.”
Michael stared at her for a moment, then started laughing so hard he was sniggering. Finally he wiped his eyes and then ran his hand suggestively up her leg, dragging his thumb slowly along the inside of her thigh. He said, “you look pregnant when you’re naked.”
Nikita swung her leg across him and straddled his lap, pressing his hips deep into the couch, running her hands along his arms and onto his shoulders. “You want to see me naked?”
His voice dropped as he reached for her, strong fingers kneading her hips, and his pupils started to dilate. “Yes. Just to make sure you still look pregnant.”
So, of course she kissed him. Once, then twice, then a third time, longer and harder, dragging his mouth open under hers, nipping and sucking at his lips and his tongue as she threaded her fingers through his hair, caressing his cheekbones with her thumbs. Michael slid further down into the couch, tilting his pelvis into her so she could feel his rapidly hardening erection, then brushed his hands up and under her shirt, making her shiver as he drew circles on her skin with his fingertips.
And then she heard, “Good God. You guys have a room!”
*******
Michael knew that Thanksgiving would go well as soon as their first guests arrived. Miranda took one look at Nikita, held out her hands and cried, “oh my God! You’re pregnant! That’s so exciting!”
The tone was set, and the rest of the day was an unending chorus of exclamations of approval and congratulations. On Nikita’s pregnancy, on the new TV room in the basement, on Adam’s new bedroom, on the meal, on the flowers on the table, on the weather itself, which was particularly fine, it had to be said. Nikita was more completely relaxed and happy than Michael could ever remember seeing her, vast dinner party notwithstanding, and he was pleased deep into his bones that he was the one who had been able to give this to her.
The teenagers quickly monopolized the basement for an incredibly loud Guitar Hero playoff, so the adults stayed upstairs and entertained themselves by regaling Nikita with eight years’ worth of ‘Michael and Adam’ stories. There were a few funny mishaps along the way, or at least, stories that were funny in the telling, like the time Adam and Charlie Peterson had capsized a canoe with Michael in it because they were horsing around. Or, the time Erin Andersen and Adam had accidentally locked themselves in the basement pantry at the Andersen’s house and no one noticed while the panicked nine year olds called for help. So they had saved themselves by emptying a set of shelves, dragging it over so they could climb up to the basement window, which they broke to escape. Only to later learn that there was a pull cord on the door, which would have released the latch if they had known what it was.
Michael did not spoil the mood by sharing that Adam had been white-faced and wild-eyed with panic when he and Erin finally found the adults, or that he woke up crying from nightmares for months afterward.
But most of the stories, or story-snippets, told with significant glances aimed Nikita’s way, were about what a great dad Michael was, and had been, for Adam. They told Nikita about what they saw as Michael’s patience and apparently endless willingness to support Adam trying whatever it was struck his fancy, from music and sports to martial arts, hunting, camping, sailing and even a brief brush with skateboard competitions. Joe and Fanny told Nikita about all the times Michael had dropped everything at work to rush to school if Adam fell ill, or had a mishap of any sort, as well as all the hours he had volunteered in the classroom. In fact, Nikita learned that Michael had been the favorite class parent, or at least the other parents’ favorite class parent, through elementary and into middle school because he had always been the first to volunteer for the innumerable favors that schools asked of parents.
Michael did not interrupt to say that Adam had eventually grown to deeply resent Michael’s constant presence, informed him that he was worse than the Gestapo, and had begged him to stay away.
From all this assiduous and loving care, Nikita was assured, Adam had grown to be a paragon of a young man. Adam was kind to friends, strangers and stray puppies. Adam was always willing to respond to requests for help or assistance. Adam’s quick thinking and self-sufficiency had apparently saved the day on countless occasions, big and small. Adam took loving and responsible care of his friends, and especially of his father during those rare times Michael had actually needed his help. Like that time when Michael had strained his knee really badly and ended up on crutches for several months back when Adam was in fourth grade. Adam had stepped right up to take care of his dad, learning to cook and to keep the bathroom clean.
When that story was told, Nikita narrowed her eyes at Michael and asked “which leg?”
The answer was, of course, his left leg. The one he had been shot in, twice, in a single year.
Adam had branched out as he got older, and Joe and Fanny proudly told Nikita how Adam had been taking excellent care of their lawn and garden, and gradually expanding to general handy-man assistance, ever since Joe had fallen and broken his hip a few years earlier.
Joe and Geoff went on to describe all the times Adam had come in to help paint whenever they found themselves shorthanded, and how Adam had matured into an excellent employee and model for the other young people they hired to help them in the summer.
Michael came in for his fair share of praise too. Miranda and Shelia told stories about how Michael had kept all the kids on snow days that closed the public schools leaving them unattended and bored; and how everyone had loved it because not only did he keep the kids, he usually took them on some snow-related adventure that left everyone exhausted and happy. Michael had also stepped up to fill gaps in summer camps and activities, and had taken on a huge share of driving kids to practices day in and day out as they got older.
Not to be out done, Geoff and Allison told the story of how Michael had come in the middle of the night and then stayed for days to help Geoff when Allison had been in a bad car accident the winter before.
Michael, through it all, thought it was a good thing that Nikita had endured nearly three months of Adam’s progressively worse behavior, sullen, angry, spiteful and rude, so that she didn’t mistake the inhuman model teen being described for the actual teenager who lived with them. He did not fear at all that Nikita would forget his own legion of faults merely by hearing others praise him.
After the last of the guests left, long after dark, Michael and Nikita collapsed on the couch and agreed it had been a very good day. Nikita curled into Michael’s side and he said, “News is out about your pregnancy.”
She laughed. “Better be. I tried on nearly every dress at the maternity store at the mall before I chose this one.”
Michael smiled and ran his hand over the soft blue wool. “It’s nice.”
She grinned. “Thanks.” She looked down at her hand as she smoothed his sweater. “I do have one question though.”
“Yes?”
“When did Adam start sleeping with his friend Erin?”
Michael frowned. “You saw that too?”
He had hoped he had read too much into a few scattered interactions, but apparently not, if Nikita had drawn the same conclusion.
Adam and Erin had been close friends until middle school, but after that had seemed to drift apart. Once Adam had started his relationship with Tasha, Erin seemed to have vanished off his radar completely. Which Michael had always thought was rather a shame. Unlike Tasha, Erin was self-possessed and able to speak clearly in the presence of adults, and she shared Adam’s interests in fantasy and science fiction, comic books and electronic games. She also loved most sports; playing basketball and soccer with Adam until middle school, at which point she had chosen to focus on her true love, downhill skiing. She had become a powerhouse racer, by far the strongest competitor on the high school team, or for that matter, in the state. She and her family hadn’t quite been willing to make the commitment to see if she was Olympic caliber, but she was already receiving national attention. As tall as Nikita, she was what they called a ‘big girl’ in Minnesota, broad shouldered and full figured, obviously fit and strong, with shiny light brown hair and grey eyes and clear, pale skin.
Michael also knew, from conversations the previous winter with Pete and Miranda, during all those long hours at ski slopes all over the upper Midwest, that Erin’s luck with boyfriends had continued to be bad, from seventh grade and her unfortunate selection of Jake Litman forward. Between her size and her skill, most boys were terrified of her and those that had the confidence to flirt with her tended to be older and to have other issues, which had hurt Erin terribly.
Nikita nodded, her eyes full of sympathy. “Yes. I did see that. It was definitely knowing, not flirting.”
Michael said, “I think it must have started very recently, in the last few weeks.”
Nikita cleared her throat uncomfortably. She said, “Adam hasn’t broken it off with Tasha.”
“He hasn’t?”
“Nope. Tasha was at the ski slope all last week, even though she isn’t on the team. She even came grocery shopping with us on Tuesday night.”
Michael sighed. “This is not going to end well.”
“No.”
“Christmas will be – interesting.”
Nikita opened her eyes wide in mock terror and laughed. “Oh yeah. It will.”
Members of the local of the ski-hill based ski and snowboard club, including Erin and Adam, were going to Utah to train and compete for the entire upcoming winter break. Just today Michael and Nikita had finalized plans with the Andersen’s for their two families to rent a condo together for the whole trip.
*****
December was always very busy for Michael as clients struggled to finish projects before the holidays, and Michael was busy painting Monday through Friday and into Saturdays until the day before they left for Utah.
At home, the balance he and Adam and Nikita had begun to find before Thanksgiving continued to hold, and while Adam was still far from embracing Nikita, he seemed much calmer around her, and no longer quite so focused on keeping her at arms’ length. He had unbent so far, in fact, that the weekend before they left he had actually accepted Nikita’s challenge in one of his electronic war games, and been reasonably cheerful about it when she beat him.
Adam was also bringing Tasha around the house more often, often enough that Tasha had, at last, relaxed enough for Michael to begin to understand what Adam liked about her. Unfortunately, what Adam seemed to like best was that Tasha really liked him. If they hadn’t shared several classes, and a strong, and fairly competitive, desire to do very well in them, Michael had no idea what they would have talked about.
Nikita was also happier, which made Michael happy. Her headaches and nausea had tapered off and she was finding some women to spend time with, which was something that had always been important to her. Most of them she had met through a women’s ski group at the ski hill the high school team used to practice. She switched from a snowboard to skis on the grounds of her rapidly changing center of gravity, and she skied with the group several days each week. The days she didn’t ski with the group she skied alone or with Michael. She told Michael she was skiing so much so that she would be ready to enjoy skiing in Utah, but Michael thought she was also really enjoying just spending time with other women, and in doing something physically challenging for her. He certainly enjoyed that she came home glowing and revved up from the exercise. She was also teaching herself to knit, which Michael tried not to find disorienting in the extreme, but failed pretty spectacularly, much to Nikita’s ongoing amusement.
During the four weeks between Thanksgiving and the winter break, Michael had done his share of picking up Adam and some of the other members of the team at the ski slope each evening. He never saw anything more to suggest that Adam and Erin were anything other than old friends and teammates. In fact he began to question what he had thought he had seen, and it was a relief to tell himself that he had imagined the whole thing.
They drove to Utah rather than fly, to Adam’s vexation, but Michael and Nikita were unmoved. There was no reason for them to risk flagging any search routine by flying commercially when the trip could be easily handled another way, especially with three drivers to make the driving easier.
When they arrived at the resort, Michael and Nikita took one good look at the layout and realized that the fifteen teenagers on the ski-club team were going to have no trouble evading adult supervision in their non-training time, and there was no point in trying to fight it. So, they reminded Adam of the consequences if he was caught in violation of any of their rules, the team rules, and the resort rules, not to mention local laws regarding minors, alcohol and drugs, and then spent their holiday thoroughly enjoying themselves.
By skiing nearly every day since Thanksgiving, Nikita had recovered and then far surpassed her old level of skill and comfort on the snow, even with her balance altered by her now quite visible pregnancy. So she and Michael could, and did, ski hard for hours every day, exploring the full reach of the large resort and testing themselves against the conditions and each other. They also spent time watching the kids practice, especially the serious competition snowboarders and freestyle skiers that Adam was training with, because they were fun to watch on the giant super half pipe, sailing up and off the edges, breaking free from gravity as they spun on the air like so many seeds on the wind. In fact, Nikita liked watching so much she started getting an exploratory gleam in her eye, and then she caused both Michael and Adam to blanch nearly the color of the snow itself when she announced a desire to learn to do it too. Seeing their expressions, Nikita burst out laughing and told them to not be so ridiculous, she did not mean this year.
When they weren’t downhill skiing he and Nikita were snowshoeing and cross-country skiing on the miles of trails winding around the resort, or they were eating too much rich food in the expensive restaurants that dotted the city, or taking long naps together in the middle of the afternoon just because they could. They did share a brief moment of regret that Nikita couldn’t use the hot tub, but then she leaned over and bit gently at his earlobe, saying “well, it wasn’t private anyway, so there’s not much to miss.”
They also spent time with Erin’s parents, and if Miranda and Nikita were not likely to ever be the best of friends, they enjoyed each other’s company well enough that they took off to spend half a day at a local spa and then to go window-shopping at the overpriced boutiques that lined the streets.
The ski-club training seemed to go well and most of the team members, including Adam and Erin, were satisfied by their improved rankings at the end of the competitions. There were also at least two mornings when Michael was sure Adam was nursing a mild hangover, and one night when Adam and the rest of the snowboarders rolled in red-eyed and stoned out of their minds, to the extent that Michael was just really grateful that none of them had broken their necks, or anything else, out on the terrain slopes. Their coaches had immediately launched a surprise room search, but they turned up nothing and so decided to officially ignore it. Michael and Nikita, watching from the edges along with the other parents on the trip, could have told them where the kids had hidden their stashes, but as Adam was not one of the kids to have a hidden stash, they quickly reached a non-verbal agreement that, in this case, official ignorance was really the best option.
So, as the trip came to an end, Michael was not terribly surprised to see signs that Adam and Erin had clearly found some time alone together; disappointed, perhaps, but not surprised.
******
Fandom: La Femme Nikita
Pairing: Michael Samuelle/Nikita Wirth
Characters: Michael Samuelle, Adam Samuelle, Nikita Wirth, OCs
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Post Series Fic
Length: 40,300 words
Chapter: 6/9
Summary: "When Michael first saw Nikita standing on his front porch, his whole world splintered and then, between one step and the next, remade itself."
Part 1, Living the Normal Life, can be found here.
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 1
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 2
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 3
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 4
Balance Requires Motion, Chapter 5
*****
Adam’s sixteenth birthday came and went without much fanfare. Michael knew Adam was disappointed that he had lost interest in his own birthday; sixteen was such an important watershed in Minnesota and he had been eagerly anticipating the day. But, when they asked him about it, Adam had sighed deeply and remarked that after all their revelations about the past, a mere birthday party didn’t seem so important somehow. When Nikita tried to cheer him up, get him to consider some sort of celebration anyway, Adam glared at her in exasperation and exclaimed, “Look, I don’t hate you anymore, okay! But I don’t want a party. Let it go.”
A few days later, after Nikita had commented acidly about Adam’s continuing mood of gloomy self-pity, Adam had gotten a speculative gleam in his eye and suggested that a car of his own to go with his new driver’s license might perk him up considerably. Fortunately, Adam had clearly not expected this suggestion to be acted on nor did he seem unduly let down when it was ignored.
Adam also wanted to skip deer hunting season for the first time since he had been old enough to go. When pressed Adam stuck to his story that he did not care for venison, so didn’t see any reason to kill a deer this year. Michael and Nikita agreed privately that it had more to do with Adam’s obvious newfound discomfort around the guns, or, rather, seeing them with the guns, and should not be allowed to continue. So Michael drew Adam’s attention to the new deer donation program and suggested that three deer would be a big contribution to a local food shelf during what was looking to be a very hard winter for families in economic trouble. At which point Nikita had shot Michael a very dirty look indeed, but he had ignored it, and Adam had grudgingly agreed that maybe deer hunting would be okay after all. Seeing as how it would be for charity and everything.
Loading up the SUV for the drive north was uncomfortable for all of them, coming just a few weeks after their last, intense, road trip. Once they were underway, though, Nikita challenged Adam to a game of ‘name that band’ using songs on their mp3 players, and their state of fragile normalcy resumed in time to save them from inflicting their tensions on everyone else gathered at the Peterson family’s hunting camp. Two days later, after wrestling their three deer carcasses from the woods, to the trailer, to one of the approved processing centers, Adam and Nikita actually started laughing at each other’s jokes again.
Once training for the winter ski and snowboard season began in earnest, Adam’s flat and dismal mood lifted even more. He got a fresh buzz-cut, eliminating his Mohawk, saying it was too much trouble to maintain now that he would be wearing a ski helmet every day. He kept his earrings. So Michael felt he had the time and freedom to turn his attention to Nikita. She was obviously restless now that the work in the basement was finished and the immediate tension with Adam was beginning to abate. Problem was, Michael didn’t have any good ideas about how to help her, and whatever he was doing was obviously irritating her. Which was apparently why she had picked him up today, and taken him out to lunch.
Fixing him with a level gaze, she said, “Michael. Please stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Hovering. And looking concerned.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes. You are.”
He shrugged. “Okay. A little.”
Nikita smiled. “Thank you.”
“I haven’t done anything yet?”
“For acknowledging it.”
She reached out and offered her hand, which he took and she gripped his fingers firmly. She said, “I told myself that trying to imagine my life here would be a mistake, that I should wait and make sure you wanted me with you before I built too many castles in the air.” She shrugged, and hooked her toe around the back of his calf under the table. “I was wrong. I should have started trying to make some plans.”
Michael stroked her hand with his thumb. “You talked about taking some university courses?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I still might.”
“But?”
“I don’t think that’s really a long-term plan.”
He sighed. “No.”
“We should make some.”
“Long term plans?”
“Yes.”
“Adam?”
“Will be done with high school in less than three years. After that – we can do anything we want. We should think about what that might be.”
“I…..” He trailed off, because he had nothing to say.
“See.” She gave him a teasing smile. “You never thought beyond ‘wait and see if Nikita shows up’ either, did you?”
Michael started to protest, and then realized it would be foolish, because she was more or less right. He smiled self-consciously. “No.”
“Okay. So. Now we start. Together.”
Michael went back to work later that afternoon feeling lighter than he had in a long, long time.
*****
Nikita looked back and forth between the cell phone ringing on the dining room table and Adam, who was resolutely ignoring the vibrating phone in favor of his homework.
“You know,” she said, clearing her throat, “it would be much kinder to end the relationship yourself.”
Adam looked up at her, his face a model of confusion. “What? What are you talking about?”
Nikita gave him the same look she had perfected on Seymour Birkof, all those years ago.
Adam crumbled, just like Birkof used to do. He shrugged defensively, “I don’t know if I want to end it. I just, want to, ease up for a while, you know?”
“Not all that long ago, you seemed really happy about it. What changed?”
Adam returned her look with interest, conveying clearly without words the sentiment, ‘just how stupid are you, anyway?’
Nikita ducked her head in surrender, “Okay. But, my guess is you’re hurting her feelings by just ignoring her. If that’s not what you want, you should try something else.”
Adam scowled. “Well, it worked for Dad.”
“What worked for me?”
Adam looked up at Michael, who had just appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room. “Getting your girlfriend to dump you,” he said.
Michael looked back and forth between them in confusion, but settled on Nikita as the one who should answer his unspoken question.
“I was just saying to Adam, that I thought if he didn’t want to be seeing Tasha anymore, he should suck it up and break up with her, instead of just ignoring her phone calls.”
Michael looked back at Adam. “You and Tasha are having difficulties?”
Adam shoved all his books and papers into a pile and stood up. “I am so not talking with you guys about this.”
As he shouldered his way past Michael, Nikita said, “don’t forget your phone.”
Adam raised his voice so they would hear him as he pounded down the stairs. “Screw the damn phone!”
Nikita closed the laptop she had been reading and said, “what’s up?”
Michael folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe. “More pregnancy blogs?”
“Yeah.” Nikita was pleased that she sounded cool, until she caught sight of the teasing laughter in Michael’s eyes. She knew he didn’t care one way or the other about the blogs, he just thought it was funny that she was so easily embarrassed by her fascination with them. She blushed and changed the subject. “Anyway, you look like you were about to say something?”
“Yes. Miranda Andersen just called. Now everyone we invited for Thanksgiving has said yes.”
“What?! You told me you were sure most people would have other plans!”
Michael shrugged. “I was wrong.”
“That’s,” Nikita rapidly recounted the number in her head, “that’s sixteen people for dinner!”
“Yes.”
“Michael! I’ve never cooked for more than four people at a time in my entire life!”
“So – time to learn something new.”
“You swore! You swore to me that at most it would be one other family!” Nikita was trying hard not to hyperventilate. She reminded herself that she had run an elite, covert counter terrorism operation with global reach for nearly nine years by herself, against incredible odds and facing constant assault from within as well as without. A mere – gigantic – dinner party with a straightforward traditional menu should not be more than she could handle. She remembered that when she was running an elite, covert counter terrorism operation with global reach, she had had a really big staff.
She must have been telegraphing her alarm, because Michael stepped over to her and pulled her out of her chair and into his arms. Holding her firmly, and stroking a calming hand against her hair he said, “you’ll be fine. Adam and I are in it with you. You aren’t alone.”
She mumbled against his neck, “why did they all say yes?”
Michael laughed and steered her toward the sofa in the living room. Tugging her down with him, he said, “Because Adam and I have never asked anyone over for a holiday before. We’ve always been the lost ones everyone else takes pity on. Now that you’re here, everyone is dying of curiosity to see what we look like as a family.”
She flushed with pleasure when he called them a family, but what she said was, “You have a lot of nosy parker friends.”
“That was the idea.”
“I don’t even look pregnant, just really bloated.”
Michael stared at her for a moment, then started laughing so hard he was sniggering. Finally he wiped his eyes and then ran his hand suggestively up her leg, dragging his thumb slowly along the inside of her thigh. He said, “you look pregnant when you’re naked.”
Nikita swung her leg across him and straddled his lap, pressing his hips deep into the couch, running her hands along his arms and onto his shoulders. “You want to see me naked?”
His voice dropped as he reached for her, strong fingers kneading her hips, and his pupils started to dilate. “Yes. Just to make sure you still look pregnant.”
So, of course she kissed him. Once, then twice, then a third time, longer and harder, dragging his mouth open under hers, nipping and sucking at his lips and his tongue as she threaded her fingers through his hair, caressing his cheekbones with her thumbs. Michael slid further down into the couch, tilting his pelvis into her so she could feel his rapidly hardening erection, then brushed his hands up and under her shirt, making her shiver as he drew circles on her skin with his fingertips.
And then she heard, “Good God. You guys have a room!”
*******
Michael knew that Thanksgiving would go well as soon as their first guests arrived. Miranda took one look at Nikita, held out her hands and cried, “oh my God! You’re pregnant! That’s so exciting!”
The tone was set, and the rest of the day was an unending chorus of exclamations of approval and congratulations. On Nikita’s pregnancy, on the new TV room in the basement, on Adam’s new bedroom, on the meal, on the flowers on the table, on the weather itself, which was particularly fine, it had to be said. Nikita was more completely relaxed and happy than Michael could ever remember seeing her, vast dinner party notwithstanding, and he was pleased deep into his bones that he was the one who had been able to give this to her.
The teenagers quickly monopolized the basement for an incredibly loud Guitar Hero playoff, so the adults stayed upstairs and entertained themselves by regaling Nikita with eight years’ worth of ‘Michael and Adam’ stories. There were a few funny mishaps along the way, or at least, stories that were funny in the telling, like the time Adam and Charlie Peterson had capsized a canoe with Michael in it because they were horsing around. Or, the time Erin Andersen and Adam had accidentally locked themselves in the basement pantry at the Andersen’s house and no one noticed while the panicked nine year olds called for help. So they had saved themselves by emptying a set of shelves, dragging it over so they could climb up to the basement window, which they broke to escape. Only to later learn that there was a pull cord on the door, which would have released the latch if they had known what it was.
Michael did not spoil the mood by sharing that Adam had been white-faced and wild-eyed with panic when he and Erin finally found the adults, or that he woke up crying from nightmares for months afterward.
But most of the stories, or story-snippets, told with significant glances aimed Nikita’s way, were about what a great dad Michael was, and had been, for Adam. They told Nikita about what they saw as Michael’s patience and apparently endless willingness to support Adam trying whatever it was struck his fancy, from music and sports to martial arts, hunting, camping, sailing and even a brief brush with skateboard competitions. Joe and Fanny told Nikita about all the times Michael had dropped everything at work to rush to school if Adam fell ill, or had a mishap of any sort, as well as all the hours he had volunteered in the classroom. In fact, Nikita learned that Michael had been the favorite class parent, or at least the other parents’ favorite class parent, through elementary and into middle school because he had always been the first to volunteer for the innumerable favors that schools asked of parents.
Michael did not interrupt to say that Adam had eventually grown to deeply resent Michael’s constant presence, informed him that he was worse than the Gestapo, and had begged him to stay away.
From all this assiduous and loving care, Nikita was assured, Adam had grown to be a paragon of a young man. Adam was kind to friends, strangers and stray puppies. Adam was always willing to respond to requests for help or assistance. Adam’s quick thinking and self-sufficiency had apparently saved the day on countless occasions, big and small. Adam took loving and responsible care of his friends, and especially of his father during those rare times Michael had actually needed his help. Like that time when Michael had strained his knee really badly and ended up on crutches for several months back when Adam was in fourth grade. Adam had stepped right up to take care of his dad, learning to cook and to keep the bathroom clean.
When that story was told, Nikita narrowed her eyes at Michael and asked “which leg?”
The answer was, of course, his left leg. The one he had been shot in, twice, in a single year.
Adam had branched out as he got older, and Joe and Fanny proudly told Nikita how Adam had been taking excellent care of their lawn and garden, and gradually expanding to general handy-man assistance, ever since Joe had fallen and broken his hip a few years earlier.
Joe and Geoff went on to describe all the times Adam had come in to help paint whenever they found themselves shorthanded, and how Adam had matured into an excellent employee and model for the other young people they hired to help them in the summer.
Michael came in for his fair share of praise too. Miranda and Shelia told stories about how Michael had kept all the kids on snow days that closed the public schools leaving them unattended and bored; and how everyone had loved it because not only did he keep the kids, he usually took them on some snow-related adventure that left everyone exhausted and happy. Michael had also stepped up to fill gaps in summer camps and activities, and had taken on a huge share of driving kids to practices day in and day out as they got older.
Not to be out done, Geoff and Allison told the story of how Michael had come in the middle of the night and then stayed for days to help Geoff when Allison had been in a bad car accident the winter before.
Michael, through it all, thought it was a good thing that Nikita had endured nearly three months of Adam’s progressively worse behavior, sullen, angry, spiteful and rude, so that she didn’t mistake the inhuman model teen being described for the actual teenager who lived with them. He did not fear at all that Nikita would forget his own legion of faults merely by hearing others praise him.
After the last of the guests left, long after dark, Michael and Nikita collapsed on the couch and agreed it had been a very good day. Nikita curled into Michael’s side and he said, “News is out about your pregnancy.”
She laughed. “Better be. I tried on nearly every dress at the maternity store at the mall before I chose this one.”
Michael smiled and ran his hand over the soft blue wool. “It’s nice.”
She grinned. “Thanks.” She looked down at her hand as she smoothed his sweater. “I do have one question though.”
“Yes?”
“When did Adam start sleeping with his friend Erin?”
Michael frowned. “You saw that too?”
He had hoped he had read too much into a few scattered interactions, but apparently not, if Nikita had drawn the same conclusion.
Adam and Erin had been close friends until middle school, but after that had seemed to drift apart. Once Adam had started his relationship with Tasha, Erin seemed to have vanished off his radar completely. Which Michael had always thought was rather a shame. Unlike Tasha, Erin was self-possessed and able to speak clearly in the presence of adults, and she shared Adam’s interests in fantasy and science fiction, comic books and electronic games. She also loved most sports; playing basketball and soccer with Adam until middle school, at which point she had chosen to focus on her true love, downhill skiing. She had become a powerhouse racer, by far the strongest competitor on the high school team, or for that matter, in the state. She and her family hadn’t quite been willing to make the commitment to see if she was Olympic caliber, but she was already receiving national attention. As tall as Nikita, she was what they called a ‘big girl’ in Minnesota, broad shouldered and full figured, obviously fit and strong, with shiny light brown hair and grey eyes and clear, pale skin.
Michael also knew, from conversations the previous winter with Pete and Miranda, during all those long hours at ski slopes all over the upper Midwest, that Erin’s luck with boyfriends had continued to be bad, from seventh grade and her unfortunate selection of Jake Litman forward. Between her size and her skill, most boys were terrified of her and those that had the confidence to flirt with her tended to be older and to have other issues, which had hurt Erin terribly.
Nikita nodded, her eyes full of sympathy. “Yes. I did see that. It was definitely knowing, not flirting.”
Michael said, “I think it must have started very recently, in the last few weeks.”
Nikita cleared her throat uncomfortably. She said, “Adam hasn’t broken it off with Tasha.”
“He hasn’t?”
“Nope. Tasha was at the ski slope all last week, even though she isn’t on the team. She even came grocery shopping with us on Tuesday night.”
Michael sighed. “This is not going to end well.”
“No.”
“Christmas will be – interesting.”
Nikita opened her eyes wide in mock terror and laughed. “Oh yeah. It will.”
Members of the local of the ski-hill based ski and snowboard club, including Erin and Adam, were going to Utah to train and compete for the entire upcoming winter break. Just today Michael and Nikita had finalized plans with the Andersen’s for their two families to rent a condo together for the whole trip.
*****
December was always very busy for Michael as clients struggled to finish projects before the holidays, and Michael was busy painting Monday through Friday and into Saturdays until the day before they left for Utah.
At home, the balance he and Adam and Nikita had begun to find before Thanksgiving continued to hold, and while Adam was still far from embracing Nikita, he seemed much calmer around her, and no longer quite so focused on keeping her at arms’ length. He had unbent so far, in fact, that the weekend before they left he had actually accepted Nikita’s challenge in one of his electronic war games, and been reasonably cheerful about it when she beat him.
Adam was also bringing Tasha around the house more often, often enough that Tasha had, at last, relaxed enough for Michael to begin to understand what Adam liked about her. Unfortunately, what Adam seemed to like best was that Tasha really liked him. If they hadn’t shared several classes, and a strong, and fairly competitive, desire to do very well in them, Michael had no idea what they would have talked about.
Nikita was also happier, which made Michael happy. Her headaches and nausea had tapered off and she was finding some women to spend time with, which was something that had always been important to her. Most of them she had met through a women’s ski group at the ski hill the high school team used to practice. She switched from a snowboard to skis on the grounds of her rapidly changing center of gravity, and she skied with the group several days each week. The days she didn’t ski with the group she skied alone or with Michael. She told Michael she was skiing so much so that she would be ready to enjoy skiing in Utah, but Michael thought she was also really enjoying just spending time with other women, and in doing something physically challenging for her. He certainly enjoyed that she came home glowing and revved up from the exercise. She was also teaching herself to knit, which Michael tried not to find disorienting in the extreme, but failed pretty spectacularly, much to Nikita’s ongoing amusement.
During the four weeks between Thanksgiving and the winter break, Michael had done his share of picking up Adam and some of the other members of the team at the ski slope each evening. He never saw anything more to suggest that Adam and Erin were anything other than old friends and teammates. In fact he began to question what he had thought he had seen, and it was a relief to tell himself that he had imagined the whole thing.
They drove to Utah rather than fly, to Adam’s vexation, but Michael and Nikita were unmoved. There was no reason for them to risk flagging any search routine by flying commercially when the trip could be easily handled another way, especially with three drivers to make the driving easier.
When they arrived at the resort, Michael and Nikita took one good look at the layout and realized that the fifteen teenagers on the ski-club team were going to have no trouble evading adult supervision in their non-training time, and there was no point in trying to fight it. So, they reminded Adam of the consequences if he was caught in violation of any of their rules, the team rules, and the resort rules, not to mention local laws regarding minors, alcohol and drugs, and then spent their holiday thoroughly enjoying themselves.
By skiing nearly every day since Thanksgiving, Nikita had recovered and then far surpassed her old level of skill and comfort on the snow, even with her balance altered by her now quite visible pregnancy. So she and Michael could, and did, ski hard for hours every day, exploring the full reach of the large resort and testing themselves against the conditions and each other. They also spent time watching the kids practice, especially the serious competition snowboarders and freestyle skiers that Adam was training with, because they were fun to watch on the giant super half pipe, sailing up and off the edges, breaking free from gravity as they spun on the air like so many seeds on the wind. In fact, Nikita liked watching so much she started getting an exploratory gleam in her eye, and then she caused both Michael and Adam to blanch nearly the color of the snow itself when she announced a desire to learn to do it too. Seeing their expressions, Nikita burst out laughing and told them to not be so ridiculous, she did not mean this year.
When they weren’t downhill skiing he and Nikita were snowshoeing and cross-country skiing on the miles of trails winding around the resort, or they were eating too much rich food in the expensive restaurants that dotted the city, or taking long naps together in the middle of the afternoon just because they could. They did share a brief moment of regret that Nikita couldn’t use the hot tub, but then she leaned over and bit gently at his earlobe, saying “well, it wasn’t private anyway, so there’s not much to miss.”
They also spent time with Erin’s parents, and if Miranda and Nikita were not likely to ever be the best of friends, they enjoyed each other’s company well enough that they took off to spend half a day at a local spa and then to go window-shopping at the overpriced boutiques that lined the streets.
The ski-club training seemed to go well and most of the team members, including Adam and Erin, were satisfied by their improved rankings at the end of the competitions. There were also at least two mornings when Michael was sure Adam was nursing a mild hangover, and one night when Adam and the rest of the snowboarders rolled in red-eyed and stoned out of their minds, to the extent that Michael was just really grateful that none of them had broken their necks, or anything else, out on the terrain slopes. Their coaches had immediately launched a surprise room search, but they turned up nothing and so decided to officially ignore it. Michael and Nikita, watching from the edges along with the other parents on the trip, could have told them where the kids had hidden their stashes, but as Adam was not one of the kids to have a hidden stash, they quickly reached a non-verbal agreement that, in this case, official ignorance was really the best option.
So, as the trip came to an end, Michael was not terribly surprised to see signs that Adam and Erin had clearly found some time alone together; disappointed, perhaps, but not surprised.
******
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Date: 2010-06-07 05:34 am (UTC)Anyways, I continue to enjoy this story and get a kick out of certain events like HR knowing exactly where to look for the stashes and Adam's teenage exploits. Great Job as always!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 07:04 am (UTC)She remembered that when she was running an elite, covert counter terrorism operation with global reach, she had had a really big staff.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-08 03:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-08 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-08 03:53 am (UTC)One of the things I continue to find intriguing about the story is how much Adam has learned from Michael by osmosis, as all children do.
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Date: 2010-06-08 03:37 pm (UTC)