ext_6270 ([identity profile] sk56.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] nell65 2010-06-07 06:41 am (UTC)

I know I pretty much already had my say when I was looking this over, but seeing it again here pointed up some things for me.

Adam, who had learned at the feet of a master that the best way to deal with difficult emotional issues was to say nothing of them, spoke not at all other than the barest minimum necessary to get through the day.

This is not only true to the character you're writing (son of the Great Stone Face, after all) but true of so many teenagers I know. And it's a great contrast with the language at the end of the chapter, with the plethora of swearing, which is what actually is going through their heads at this age.

And the combination of teenage spewing and the Cliff Notes reduction of LFN is just stunning.

But I think, despite everything you have going here, this

“I do trust her. I trust that if she made that choice, then, all the other options were worse.”

is still my favorite part.

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